zen.org Communal Weblog

December 1, 2004

Filed under: — elana @ 07:50 IST

From our friend Michael, in response to my getting citizenship:

…and you also have the right to:

* paint the exterior of the house ‘Dart’ green;
* say ‘Can I go to the toilet?’ and ‘kiss my ass’ in Irish
* ‘Whoop!’ sporadically when listening to traditional music;
* make out the weather is worse than it really is;
* talk lucidly and persuasively at all times (except when being filmed);
* have pictures of JFK, the pope and your dog on the mantlepiece;
* say ‘feck!’ on any national broadcaster with impunity;
* get misty eyed over the thought of coddle, and how they don’t make it
properly anymore;
* Practice better/faster/cheaper ways of doing anything, despite the fact
they are illegal because you can now…
* …ignore the law right up to the point of getting caught, as it probably
doesn’t apply to you personally;
* tackle any looming problems using ‘a.s.f.i.’* techniques
* officially begrudge;

* a.s.f.i. – ah sure, feck it!

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